A Woman Was Nearly Blinded When A Piece Of Glitter Flew Off A Christmas Card And Hit Her In The Eye

The Guardian- A woman was nearly blinded by a Christmas card when a piece of glitter worked its way into her eyeball. The 49-year-old attended the ophthalmology department of Singleton hospital in Swansea complaining of a painful, reddened eye, loss of vision and swollen eyelid. Doctors spotted a lesion on the patient’s cornea and initially suspected it to be caused by a herpes simplex infection, according to a case study published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ). But when the lesion was examined under a powerful microscope, a shiny surface was spotted inside. The patient remembered getting glitter in her eye when it rubbed off a Christmas card. The glitter had formed into a clump, causing a lesion that mimicked the symptoms of a herpes infection, the report said. The report advised doctors to always ask about the cause of a possible trauma to the eye, even if the symptoms seemed to clearly indicate a common infection.

I have a serious question. How are any of us still alive? None of us should be alive. Humans are great and we can adapt and we’re at the top of the food chain and blah blah blah but then we can get blinded by a Christmas card. It doesn’t make any sense. We’re supposed to be these all-power and all-knowing beings but then we get killed or badly injured by the simplest things. You might be saying to yourself, “Well I would never allow myself to be blinded by a stupid holiday card” but you’re wrong. I stand in awe of your arrogance. Have you ever opened a card? Any card? Like on your birthday? If the answer is yes then this could’ve happened to you. In fact, you should count your lucky stars that you aren’t blind right now. It could happen to anyone.

I imagine I’m going to die soon. Not at the hands of some horrible disease or a gun shot to the head. It won’t be that ceremonious. It’ll be something stupid, but ultimately unavoidable, because weird, random shit happens all day every day. It’s relentless. Humans are so vulnerable that I’ll probably trip on a curb, fall, break my neck and that’ll be it. No goodbye, no see ya later, no nothin. You might think I’m being overdramatic or crazy or both but we just read a story about how a piece of GLITTER almost blinded someone. You’re probably gonna die soon, too.

PS- It’s a miracle more people don’t get blinded at strip clubs.